I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
