Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
