I'm going to jail i love you
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My feet surprised me
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