where am i from again
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
be right there i have to get my cape
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
