Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
