My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So many bounce houses so little time
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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