Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
