my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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