But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
