nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
