quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
