Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
