dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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