we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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