gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
