I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
