he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
