the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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