I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
