how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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