you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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