Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
