Pants 0. Shit 1.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
