So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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