you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
