This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
