Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
