Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
