i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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