Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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