your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
