I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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