Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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