i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
