Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
vagina is talking i cant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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