I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
