So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
