If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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