I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
