Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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