Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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