Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
