She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he puts the penis in happiness.
well you can't waste a boner
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
