i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
