You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
