Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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