I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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