And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
