Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
