is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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