Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
