I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
